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Blog: Blog2

When can I get my guitar out again?

What are you missing at the moment and will you get it back?

I had one of those rare "home alone" moments yesterday, and it was great. My daughter had been out for a walk, and my husband went to collect her, I was only alone for about 30 mins, but it was great. It made me think though, what am I missing and would I get it back?

I am one of those people who have sent their kids back to their place of study, but I still have the other half working at the kitchen table. I pop to work when I'm allowed, but I see people and they don't give me time to breathe. I see clients in the evening and spend time researching and learning. I suppose what I'm trying to say is there is always someone around.

It has taken me a year to realise that there is one main thing that I miss, more than the pub, more than going to the beach to kayak, even more than seeing family.

That thing is my space. At home or in the car but that is something I have missed. It is MY space.

I have missed having a couple of hours in my house, listening to music dancing around the place, playing air guitar, and being completely free in my head. Or driving back from somewhere in my car and singing (badly and loudly). I will admit, I don't put anyone at risk by hearing me, but it's my space. I can sing, dance, and be fantastic (in my head) and no one gets hurt by the sight and sound.

I used to do a counselling placement 40-minutes drive from where I live, and one thing I loved was, having seen my three clients that night I would put music in the car that I could chill to, a spot of Queen, or Faith No More or if it was a really hard night, Vangelis (the Bladerunner soundtrack). I would sing as loud as I could and that would really help calm the brain cell, but I can't do that now. I left that placement, I had been there a while and I felt it was time another counsellor had the experience.

I am still in hope that my husband will return to his office one day, and then at least I can go back to dancing and air guitar in the kitchen.

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