I would get up at 7.50 am to start work at 8am. I would turn my mobile and laptop on, put the kettle on for my morning coffee and then wade through any emails that had come through while I was asleep. I would start working on whichever project I was on until about 10am. Then I would change out of my PJ’s and into whatever I fancied. I would then carry on working until around 1pm and have a quick lunch. Back on to the computer and finish at 5pm, or maybe 6pm if there was something important or I was really interested in what I was doing. During this time, I would get a couple of calls, if I was really lucky a call from my boss. I would watch the work phone for any emails that came in after 6pm, in case there was something I needed to do ASAP. I would do this four or five day of the working week. On the odd day, I might head to one of the headquarters for training (that I had written and needed to deliver), or one of the sites to deal with an issue. If I was really lucky, I would be called in for a meeting. When I did turn up on site, it was like I was new to the work. I spent a lot of time alone, at my desk doing what was need for the job. You know, the worst bit for me was, it was like no-one cared. No-one would call just to say they hadn’t seen me and was I ok. No-one called and say, come into site we’re doing something, and you should join us. Does this sound familiar to you? There were Christmas parties happening, and yet, I had helped many different site but no-one wanted me to be at their party. I had never felt so alone. To be fair I was on a good wage, working in a job I liked, but I was so lonely. Through all this time, I was seeing my counsellor, I have been with her for years and while I was at the full-time job, she was there. She listened to me moan, complain, sulk, stress and cry about my job and how it made me feel. We would walk through what was happening for me and how it affected me as person. She was and still is the support I need when I have emotional troubles. I wouldn’t always come out “fixed” but I did leave her feeling lighter of my problems.
Early last year, I was made redundant from that work. I was sad about it I can confirm that, but now I look back and think, thank goodness for that. It was a comment from my daughter that made me think. I had been offered another job with the company, but it wasn’t in the department I had been in for the last 18 years. But my daughter said that I had been in a much better mood, since I had been told of my redundancy, I seemed lighter and happier. It was at that point I decided to change my direction and my look on life. I took the redundancy, walked away and re-evaluated what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. I got a little part-time job, something just to pay the bills, and did more counselling training. I picked up a second volunteer placement, working for a local university as a counsellor.
Although, where I want to be is still away off, I will always keep on working. My job is a counsellor, it is something I work at nearly daily, every client I work with I think about away from their sessions. I will research and grow my knowledge of mental health issues, emotional issues and understanding about personal situations. I will always be dedicated to my clients wherever they are.
If I sound like the kind of Counsellor that you feel could help you, just email Hello to tadworththerapy@gmail.com and I will respond. I understand making that first move can be hard, so let “Hello” start the work for you.
